Given how deliciously atrocious the acting it, I’ve found myself absolutely sucked into the VH1 scripted TV show, Single Ladies. If you follow me on Twitter you already know how obsessed I am as I “live tweet” every episode each week. (Sorry lol)
I usually find that I identify with Val, the fabulous Stacey Dash’s character. She’s conservative when it comes to dating, and a hopeless romantic. She wants to be swept off her feet by Prince Charming and will accept nothing less than that.
Well, this season, she started dating an older man who pretty much appears perfect. The young’uns on Twitter freaked out on this as if Stacey is a spring chicken. She’s in her mid-40s, folks! And nobody was all “ew, Demi Moore is so old & gross. Why is Ashton with her?” Some of these young’uns think 30 is old, so I dismiss that group and their corresponding opinions.
ANYWAY… aside from being loaded, he’s a southern gentleman who is down to take things slow and treats Val like a princess. The problem lies after Jerry catches Val trying on a wedding dress for a friend. He saw how her eyes lit up and realizes he needs to discuss “marriage” with her. Val is excited, but Jerry aint bringin’ nuttin’ but bad news, sistagirl!
You see, Jerry’s been married and divorced 3 times. He’s also done the kid thing, so he’s not at all interested in going through either of those again. He tells Val he wants to share his life with her, but marriage and children are out of the question. He wonders if it’s a deal breaker, and Val said she doesn’t know, but we all know she’s gonna bail. She wants her fairytale, dammit!
And this is where Twitter weighed in. I spent some time reading through the #SingleLadies hashtag to see what everyone was saying, and it was split pretty much 50/50 between the “marriage isn’t everything” camp and those who felt that she shouldn’t give up on her dreams because of any man.
I see both arguments, but personally I fall in line with “Team Don’t Settle”. I agree to a point that marriage isn’t everything, given the high divorce rate and complicated baby mama/daddy drama, but you want what you want! In Val’s case, she’s been dreaming of her wedding day since she was 6! So, here comes this man who has been there and done that, many times over. He wants to be with you, but only on his terms. No compromise whatsoever. Would you stay? I’m not sure I would.
There was also a group of tweeters who figured this could have all been avoided if they discussed this earlier in the relationship. When Val walked away, they were both pretty much already in love. I know it’s said to be a no-no for folks to bring up topics like this early in a relationship, but maybe it could have saved both Val and Jerry a world of hurt! You ask about partner’s sexual history and what not. Why not lay it all out there? Just something to think about!
So there were many compelling arguments, both ways, but at the end of the day, you can’t live your life based on what other people think. Don’t let others project their thoughts and experiences upon you. If marriage and children are important to you, in a relationship, then do you. Make the decision that will make you happy, not anyone else. Opinions are like assholes. Everybody has them. You’re the one who has to live with the decisions, so make the one that you’ll be able to live with. Life ain’t no fun sitting around being all bitter and resentful!
Soooooo, what do y’all think? Would you have stayed with Jerry based on his terms? Or would you have walked away, like Val did?