I reluctantly watched Venus Williams lose yesterday on ESPN2. It was a re-airing of her match, and I had already ruined the result for myself. However, since I like to catch as much tennis as possible, I continued to watch.

When they would cut away to show other matches or news from around Roland Garros, is when I’d pay the most attention. They started talking about this young player on the tour who is extremely loud while she plays.

I thought, “loud”? What’s that supposed to mean? Is she yelling at the chair ump like McEnroe, psyching herself up in between points, or is she a grunter a la Maria Sharapova? Turns out she’s a grunter and makes Maria sound like a church mouse in comparison. I had to investigate!